Mentoring: The Gift is in the Giving.

Written by Jim Kankula

As I approach the end of my professional career, I find myself focusing less on what I have yet to accomplish and more on how I can give something to younger teammates who are learning how to navigate their careers. Throughout my career, I have led various teams and enterprise-wide projects and learned a thing or two that I hope has helped those whom I have led.

The value of mentoring

Earlier in my career, I thought that only the mentee got value from a mentoring relationship. However, while mentoring scores of teammates over the years, I found that I was also rewarded as I learned from the perspectives of other generations and felt a sense of pride while watching my mentees accomplish the things with which they had been struggling.  A recent example is a teammate – let’s call him Darnell – with whom I had a multi-year relationship before he came to me with concerns about career opportunities and risks. His presented question of “Should I apply for a new position?” became less about what I would do and more about asking questions that helped Darnell work out his own answers. I leveraged the things I have seen, heard, and experienced to help my mentee expand his thinking. This coaching without a reporting relationship can be hugely beneficial for some mentoring relationships; it allows mentees to engage with new perspectives for an objective look at their roles and career.^{1, 2} With teammates like Darnell, I find that I can say things and give advice that perhaps a direct manager could not.

The business case for mentoring in an organization

Mentoring results in more than relationship building and giving advice. It offers a robust business case, driving significant benefits for both employees and organizations. When experienced professionals coach newer colleagues, mentoring fosters greater employee engagement because mentees feel valued and supported in their career development. ^{3, 4} Moreover, mentoring enables employees to gain a deeper understanding of the business from a broader perspective—from mentors with different backgrounds or who have experienced different career or life stages—which breaks down silos and promotes a more cohesive and collaborative work environment.^{5, 6} I am now thinking about another teammate, let’s call her Shanice, whom I met as a participant in a leadership course I was instructing. She originally approached me about a conflict she experienced with her manager. In our conversation, we explored how his different level of responsibility for the team might cause him to prioritize differently than she would. We practiced a dialogue in which she inquired about a bigger-picture strategy with her manager. The next time we met, Shanice told me that she took responsibility for some of the friction with her manager because of the expectations that she was projecting onto him. They had discussed the team’s challenges, and she gained empathy for her manager in that he shielded the team from company politics and took the heat from higher levels in the company. Shanice reciprocated the important work her manager was doing by giving him suggestions on how to communicate the “why” of his strategy and tactics to the team.

As mentees develop new skills and insights, they become more effective contributors, driving business growth and success.⁷ Additionally, mentoring helps to retain top talent, ^{8, 9} enhance leadership pipelines,¹⁰ and promote a culture of learning and innovation,¹¹ all of which can lead to improved business outcomes and a competitive edge.

Making a mentor-mentee connection

If you are ready for the challenge of being a mentor, create your reputation as a leader who makes it safe to approach for guidance. Listening actively, practicing facilitative inquiry, and offering your valuable insights can show your commitment to a mentee’s professional development. Most of my mentoring relationships came from my role of facilitating leadership classes, connecting with people who were my direct reports in the past, and leading my division’s Belonging and Inclusion council. Your company may have a formal mentoring program, and your human resource partners should be able to tell you more about how to get involved.

Three requirements of an effective mentoring relationship

As I think back on all the mentoring relationship successes (and missteps) I have had, I landed on three necessary components to make the relationship successful: 

1. You both must feel safe. Psychological safety is a cornerstone of a successful mentoring relationship, allowing mentees to feel secure in sharing their thoughts, fears, and aspirations without fear of judgment or repercussions.¹² By maintaining confidentiality and earning trust through consistent and empathetic behavior, mentors can create a safe space for mentees to be vulnerable, take risks, and explore new ideas. This goes both ways as the mentee keeps confidentiality as well if the mentor is to show up with honesty and authenticity.
2. Roles should be clear. Establishing clear boundaries is crucial in a mentoring relationship to ensure a safe, productive, and respectful dynamic.¹³ As a mentor, you should avoid using your position of power to intervene or rescue the mentee, instead allowing them to take ownership of their growth and decisions. I made the mistake once of acting on behalf of a mentee because I was emotionally triggered to fix a problem. In hindsight, I did the work that I should have coached the mentee to do. By setting boundaries, mentors can prevent over-dependency, maintain a healthy distance, and empower mentees to develop self-sufficiency and critical thinking skills. This enables mentees to learn from their mistakes, build resilience, and achieve long-term success.
3. The mentee sets the pace. It is essential to establish clear expectations around the mentee's responsibility for setting the agenda, ensuring they come prepared to discuss specific goals, challenges, and topics. This proactive approach enables mentees to take ownership of their development and maximizes the value derived from each meeting. I have found that by attending to these practical and logistical requirements, my mentee and I can focus on the substance of our relationship, fostering meaningful growth and progress.

I have had mentoring relationships that ran the course of their purpose to both me and the mentee. When that happens, I find it effective to acknowledge the end of the formal relationship and make it more casual. I still look forward to occasional communication from past mentees, and sometimes, we find we need each other again.

In my examples of Darnell and Shanice, their outcomes are still evolving. Having a solution for my mentees is not so much my concern as helping them feel heard, which requires considering their situations more broadly and continuing to build a relationship with people in the organization that I truly care about.  In a few years, when I look back on my career, I doubt that I will even recall the specifics of my projects, or the “numbers” I achieved. However, I know for sure that I will remember the connections I made while helping others find their direction and purpose.

This article is part of a series from the TLI team that delivers leadership development for mid-level and frontline leaders. Leading in today’s environment is complex and requires the ability to navigate change, engage teams, and optimize performance. TLI offers leadership development programs and experiences designed for both mid-level and frontline leaders. Contact us to learn more or visit our website at www.truistleadershipinstitute.com!  

References:

1. Ragins, B. R. (1997). Diversified mentoring relationships in organizations: A power perspective. Academy of Management Review, 22, 482-521. https://doi.org/10.5465/amr.1997.9707154067
2. Underhill, C. M. (2006). The effectiveness of mentoring programs in corporate settings: A meta-analytical review of the literature. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 68, 292-307. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jvb.2005.05.003
3. Houter, K. D. & Maese, E. (2023, April 13). Mentors and sponsors make the difference. Gallup. https://www.gallup.com/workplace/473999/mentors-sponsors-difference.aspx
4. Lin, L., Cai, X., & Yin, J. (2021). Effects of mentoring on work engagement: Work meaningfulness as a mediator. International Journal of Training and Development, 25, 183-199. https://doi.org/10.1111/ijtd.12210
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6. Gratton, L. & Erickson, T. J. (2007, November). Eight ways to build collaborative teams. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2007/11/eight-ways-to-build-collaborative-teams
7. Harvard Business Review (2022, September-October). Why your mentoring program should be mandatory. https://hbr.org/2022/09/why-your-mentoring-program-should-be-mandatory
8. Fleig-Palmer, M. M. (2010). The impact of mentoring on retention through knowledge transfer, affective commitment, and trust. Dissertation Abstracts International Section A: Humanities and Social Sciences, 70(7-A), 2605.
9. Together (2019). Skyrocketing retention rates by connecting employees with mentors. https://www.togetherplatform.com/case-studies/Randstad
10. Olson, D. A. & Jackson, D. (2009). Expanding leadership diversity through formal mentoring programs. Journal of Leadership Studies, 3, 47-60. https://doi.org/10.1002/jls.20095
11. Hollywood, K. G., Blaess, D. A., Santin, C., & Bloom, L. (2016). Holistic mentoring and coaching to sustain organizational change and innovation. Creighton Journal of Interdisciplinary Leadership, 2, 32-46.
12. Wen, P., Chen, C., Dong, L., & Shu, X. (2019). The role of mentoring in protégés’ subjective well-being. Journal of Career Development, 46, 171-183. https://doi.org/10.1177/08948453177318
13. American Psychological Association (2012). Introduction to mentoring: A guide for mentors and mentees. https://www.apa.org/education-career/grad/mentoring