An accomplished executive was determined to embrace newly learned leadership approaches, and eager to inspire and connect more deeply with their team. Let’s call them Taylor. Specifically, Taylor wanted to involve the team more in decision-making instead of being so directive (Taylor’s words, not mine). Yet the team was skeptical, labeling Taylor’s new efforts of asking for input as inauthentic or phony. Taylor even began to wonder, “Am I just being fake, acting in a way that’s not authentically me?” The pull toward older habitual ways of interacting with the team was about to win out.
It’s a common hurdle for leaders navigating their own growth and development. I hear stories like this quite often from executives who engage with Truist Leadership Institute to develop their leadership. I’ll tell you what I tell them: Stepping out of your comfort zone into new mindsets and skill sets does not mean sacrificing authenticity.
First, let's talk about what leadership authenticity is. It turns out that it’s rather murky. Some research on authentic leadership emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself while adapting to various job-related demands (Gardner et al., 2021). However, the concept of being true to oneself is very nuanced. One way of looking at it is that a person knows who they are and has a consistent way of being – of thinking, feeling, and acting. You might even hear people say, “That’s just how I am.” But research shows us that people’s self-perceptions are incomplete, biased, and selective (Jongman-Sereno & Leary, 2019) – in other words, inaccurate.
So, authenticity is not a one-dimensional, rigid, unchanging state; it's a dynamic quality that evolves with self-awareness, self-development, and experience. Humans are genuinely multi-faceted. A leader can choose to be different in different circumstances and with different people, all while being authentic. Is this leader being inauthentic by changing their approach? Not at all! They're demonstrating authentic growth by recognizing the value of diversity and adapting their leadership style accordingly in order to connect more effectively with others.
So, when you learn and apply new leadership skill sets and mindsets, you're enriching your authenticity rather than undermining it. But first, leaders, you need to get out of your own way.
Here are three practical tips for managing your own mindset about fearing your new leadership approaches are not “the real” you:
- Reframe it as an authentic evolution. Instead of viewing your new behaviors as a departure from your authentic self, frame them as an evolution of your true self and your leadership style. Understand that authenticity isn't a stagnant state but a dynamic quality that can adapt and grow with experience. Leadership is an acquired skill, and the best way to develop is to learn to sometimes go against what you think is your true nature (Chamorro-Premuzic, 2023). By embracing these changes as a natural progression, you can feel more aligned with your authentic self while expanding your leadership toolkit.
- Find common ground between your authentic values and your leadership behaviors. Identify the underlying values that drive your leadership and how they link to what you’re all about – your leadership purpose. Then, explore how your behaviors align with your values and purpose. In many cases, you'll discover that your desire to connect with and support your team is deeply rooted in your authentic leadership aspirations. By recognizing this overlap – the reasons why you choose to interact differently with others – you can feel more confident that your new behaviors are indeed an authentic expression of who you are.
- Embrace imperfection and awkwardness. Let’s return to Taylor for a moment. Taylor began asking questions to help others solve their own problems, and guess what, it didn’t go perfectly and felt strange. That's okay! In fact, it's more than okay; it's authentic. When you acknowledge that you don’t have to have all the answers and that mistakes are part of the learning process, you can calm the chatter in your mind about “feeling like a fake.” Think of other skills you’ve learned during your career (like budget planning) – you may have fumbled with that at the beginning until you got proficient. The same thing applies to new skill sets and mindsets about leading your team.
So, you’ve managed your own mindset, but what about when your efforts get branded by others, even subtly, as disingenuous? Handling a skeptical response from a colleague can be a bit of a curveball, but here are some tips to navigate it with grace while staying your authentic self:
- Share your why – connect on a personal level. Engage in a genuine conversation with your colleague (or your whole team) about why you've chosen to adopt these new leadership behaviors. Share personal experiences that led you to this path. Link your new approach to your intention to enhance trust, relationships, and team effectiveness. Keep it light, don't overanalyze, and let your enthusiasm shine through. The result? When you connect on a personal level, it humanizes your journey, making it relatable and less "fake" in their eyes.
- Actively invite feedback. You're trying out a new leadership behavior that's supposed to improve relationships and build trust. Don't just put it on cruise control; regularly seek feedback. Ask your team for their thoughts. What's working? What's not? What can be better? Invite your skeptical colleague to express their viewpoint. Listen actively and empathetically to understand their concerns or reservations. You're demonstrating your commitment to growth and teamwork. You’re also modeling a willingness to be vulnerable and embrace your own development needs. That’s a huge leadership strength!
- Stay calm and resilient. When a colleague tries to squash your effort, it can be tempting to get defensive or agitated. Instead, take a deep breath (we recommend about 90 seconds to process your emotions – The Weight of Emotional Intelligence by Dr. E. Amalia Jansel and respond with a calm and confident demeanor. Remember, you're on a journey of self-improvement; stay resilient and committed to your goals. Their comment doesn't define your path.
In the end, leaders, remember that embracing new mindsets and skill sets is not a betrayal of your true self. It's a testament to your commitment to evolve, adapt, and become an even more authentic version of yourself. Researcher Herminia Ibarra calls this being adaptively authentic (2015). I’ll tell you another thing I tell my clients about this: Don’t get hung up on the concept of authenticity. Reframe your mindset to align yourself with your leadership purpose and how you aspire to be as a leader. You are so much more than you think you are.
