Written by Madison Hester, M.Ed.
There I am—behind the wheel of the most sleek, powerful car I have ever driven. The engine starts roaring as I speed down the track. My focus seems razor-sharp. Suddenly, an unanticipated turn comes into view while I’m still at full speed. I panic, overcorrect, and slam on the brakes. The car skids wildly, tires screeching as I lose control. My heart pounds as I struggle to regain composure, but it is too late. The car spins out, leaving me stalled in the middle of the track. Anger, frustration, and disappointment bubble up as other racers speed past me, heightening my mistake. I pound the steering wheel, blaming myself for not handling the turn more smoothly.
No, I am not actually a race car driver (one can dream, right?), but I am very experienced in getting in my own way and letting my emotions spin out of control. There have been plenty of times where, in the heat of the moment, I find myself on my own emotional racetrack—hijacked and reacting so quickly that I lose control over how I am showing up. Often, these moments result in me doing or saying something that I am not proud of—behaviors that I regret and possibly have a negative impact on how others perceive my actions and intentions. In life, just like on a racetrack, emotional triggers can catch us off guard, causing us to react impulsively and often negatively. But unlike in racing, we can’t always rely on a pit crew to get us back on track. We must learn how to recognize and handle our triggers on our own so we can navigate emotional twists and turns more effectively.
Before we can understand how to slow down an emotional hijack, we must first recognize why we are reacting at all. Our behavioral responses happen so quickly because of how our brains are wired. Emotional triggers often activate our limbic system, which includes structures like the amygdala and hippocampus. When a trigger occurs, the amygdala assesses the situation and interprets it as negative or as a threat. This, in turn, signals the body to react, often leading to intense emotions like fear, anger, or anxiety1 . We drive straight into self-preservation mode, which triggers our "fight, flight, or freeze" response. Our heart rate increases, our breathing becomes more rapid, and adrenaline floods our system, preparing our body for action 2 . All of this can happen in one instant—even before we realize what’s going on!
Here's what this process can look like in the real world: A few months ago, I found myself in a meeting to discuss new project ideas. I was very excited to share a new idea that I had been pondering for some time, but I was immediately given the feedback that the proposed project would not be feasible, and the discussion moved on. In that moment, I was on my emotional racetrack—my heart rate increased, anger started to bubble up, and I completely shut down. I felt like my idea was not heard, was not valued, and was not considered. For the rest of the meeting, I did not contribute or share ideas, and I found myself feeling disappointed and a bit resentful. These are most certainly not behaviors that I pride myself on demonstrating in the workplace, and they could have negatively impacted the way my colleagues perceived me in that moment.
As I reflected on my experience in that meeting, I focused on the importance of developing a more effective way of responding to emotional triggers. There is, of course, more complexity and nuance to being a skilled race car driver, but we can borrow from the visual of navigating the twists and turns of a racetrack, maneuvering through life’s unexpected hurdles with more deliberation, precision, and control. By incorporating mental tools into our toolkit, we can avoid spinning out and can approach our emotional triggers with greater clarity and resilience. Let’s explore the mental tools that can help us do just that!
- EASE OFF THE GAS: We have to ease off the mental throttle when encountering an emotional trigger. This helps us stay in control and avoid spinning out. During challenging moments, it is essential to pause and take a breath. Reacting impulsively is like hitting the gas pedal too hard – it often leads to losing control. Instead, consciously slow yourself down, giving yourself the time and space to respond thoughtfully rather than reactively.
- CHECK YOUR MIRRORS AND BLIND SPOTS: A driver frequently has to check their mirrors to see the bigger picture on the track. Similarly, we have to step back mentally and observe the situation from a higher vantage point. This helps us gain a clearer perspective of our triggers and what we are reacting and responding to, rather than relying on our automatic responses—which is especially important because situations of stress are likely to introduce biases in our thinking.3 To get ahead of your triggers and biases, consider the situation from different angles and ask yourself questions like, “Why am I feeling this way?” and “What am I really responding to in this moment?” By taking different vantage points, we can better evaluate the situation, consider the potential consequences of impulsive actions, and choose a more appropriate response. This process reduces the hold that our limbic system has over our brain and engages our prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for higher-order cognitive functions such as decision-making, problem-solving, and impulse control.4 We can move forward and come from a much more productive place, even when in conflict.
- ADJUST YOUR STEERING: Just as drivers need to adjust their steering to navigate turns more effectively, we have to reframe our thoughts purposefully to shift our emotions in a more positive direction. Instead of fixating on negative emotions or past experiences, we must consciously choose to reframe our thoughts with a purpose or goal in mind. In challenging situations, focus on finding solutions and looking for growth opportunities, rather than dwelling on problems.5 By intentionally practicing new ways of responding to triggers, we can strengthen the neural pathways that allow us to better regulate our emotional patterns.6 Over time, this can lead to more automatic and skillful responses to triggers and reduce the intensity and frequency of emotional reactions.7
- MAKE A PIT STOP. Sometimes it’s important to pull over for a pit stop with teammates. Teams need to work together to create inclusive workplaces that foster trust. While it’s true that all team members must manage their own emotions and reactions, it’s also important to address friction points that might be triggering them. It might be worthwhile to slow down the pace to improve expectations, communication, and how the team shows respect to one another.
Fast forward a few weeks, I found myself preparing for a major presentation at work. Confident and well-prepared, I started presenting my ideas to a group of leaders in our organization. A senior manager interrupted with what I perceived to be pointed questions and criticisms. I could feel myself getting defensive—but this time, I handled it differently. I eased off the gas, took a deep breath, and collected my thoughts. I checked my mirrors and blind spots, considering the bigger picture. Why was the manager challenging my plan? What were they seeing that I might be missing? By asking these questions, I shifted my perspective and saw their feedback as an opportunity for improvement. Finally, I adjusted my steering. I focused on solutions instead of feeling defensive. I acknowledged the executive’s points and expressed my willingness to collaborate. I asked for specific feedback, turning the situation into a productive dialogue.
By easing off the gas, checking my mirrors, and adjusting my steering, I navigated the situation with confidence and turned a potential setback into a constructive exchange. This approach reinforced my professional relationships and enhanced my credibility within the team.
In the race of our everyday lives, we have to navigate a track that is filled with unexpected twists and turns. We encounter challenges, opportunities, and emotional triggers that test our resilience. Just like an experienced driver on a racetrack, we have the power to navigate these moments with skill and precision, steering ourselves towards more productive outcomes.
As you reflect on your own experiences with emotional triggers, I encourage you to consider how to incorporate the aforementioned strategies into your daily life. Practice slowing down, gaining perspective, and reframing your thoughts. Embrace each challenge as an opportunity, and remember that with time, effort, and a little patience, you can learn to respond to your triggers in a way that keeps you on track toward your goals. You are the driver of your own story, and with the right mindset and strategies you can navigate life’s unexpected twists and turns with confidence and resilience.
This article is part of a series from the TLI team that delivers leadership development for mid-level and frontline leaders. Leading in today’s environment is complex and requires the ability to navigate change, engage teams, and optimize performance. TLI offers leadership development programs and experiences designed for both mid-level and frontline leaders. Contact us to learn more or visit our website at www.truistleadershipinstitute.com!
